How do out of control birthday parties affect kids, parents and communities?
For Kids: Not all children face each of these consequences, but enough children experience them to give us worry.
- They get stressed out from parties that are too large and too orchestrated.
- They are overindulged by too many presents.
- They feel entitled to what they want, not just what they need.
- They feel envious of friends who get more—and someone will always get more.
- They feel disappointed, because enough is never enough.
- Long term, they develop materialistic values that equate personal celebrations with accumulating things.
For Parents: Some parents say they are happy with birthday parties that drive other parents up the wall. But we have talked to many parents who report these consequences.
- They feel pressured to “make” their child “happy” by meeting escalating community standards for parties.
- They feel guilty if the party was below community standards that they don’t really agree with.
- They feel overloaded with TOO MUCH STUFF, which they have to manage, organize, and clean up.
- They feel an energy drain from planning, shopping, preparing, and hosting the party.
- They feel regret or resentment afterwards when their child, or others, is not appreciative enough—“Why did I extend myself so much?”
- They run up debt from their own parties and from buying gifts for other parties.
- They experience couple strife when parents do not agree on how big to make the party and how to carry it off.
For the Community and Culture: This issue is bigger than individual families. Personal decisions affect the wider world. Out of control birthday parties contribute to:
- A too much stuff culture
- A me first culture
- A trash and waste culture
- An entitlement culture
- A envy culture
- A more of everything culture
